Making the call — Get it looked at

Chapter 8 said the task is to stay with an uncomfortable thought for about four minutes, which is what booking takes. This chapter is about those four minutes, and then about the appointment.

There's good evidence that a specific plan makes the difference between meaning to and doing. Paschal Sheeran and Sheina Orbell tested it on exactly this kind of behaviour. They worked with 114 women registered at a medical practice in rural England who were due for cervical screening. All of them filled in a questionnaire about their intentions, and their motivation to attend was about equal across the group. Half were also asked to write down when, where and how they would make the appointment. The researchers then checked the medical records. Among the women who hadn't made a plan, 69 per cent attended. Among those who had, 92 per cent did. The two groups had the same intentions and the same fears. Writing one sentence about when and how raised attendance by twenty-three percentage points.

So before anything else, write the sentence. "Tomorrow at ten past eight, at the kitchen table, I'll ring the surgery on my mobile and ask for a routine appointment about a mole." It needs to be that specific, with a time, a place and a method. If you're using the online form, write "Tonight at nine, on the laptop, I'll fill in the surgery's form."

When the time comes, take two minutes first, as chapter 8 suggested. Think about who you're doing this for. They might be your children, or your partner, who has asked you three times. It might be the holiday next year, or your own next thirty years. You're not psyching yourself up. You're reminding yourself that your life is large, and this is a small errand done on its behalf.

Then make the call. It can be short. "Hello, I'd like to book a routine appointment. I've got a mole that's changed and I'd like it looked at." If the receptionist asks for more detail, that's so they can book you with the right person. Give it plainly. If they offer a date three weeks away, take it. You can ask to be told of cancellations.

If ringing is beyond you at the moment, there are ways round it. Use the form. Go to the desk in person. Or ask someone to sit beside you while you dial. Some people find it easiest to have a partner or friend make the call with them in the room, and if that's what gets it booked, there's no shame in it.

Now the appointment itself. A few things make it more useful, and they come from common sense more than from research.

Write down beforehand what you've noticed, when you first noticed it and what has changed since. People go blank in consulting rooms. A note on your phone is fine.

Say the most important thing first. Appointments are short. If you've come about the mole, begin with the mole, and don't bring it up as you're standing to leave.

Say what you're afraid of, aloud. "I'm worried this might be skin cancer." This is the most useful sentence you can say, and the one people most often hold back. If you don't say it, the doctor may reassure you about something you weren't worried about and leave the real fear untouched. Once you've said it, the doctor can answer it directly, with a yes, a no, or "here's how we'll find out".

Mention the delay if it's relevant, and then let it go. "I first noticed it in March." The doctor needs the timeline and isn't interested in making you feel guilty about it.

Before you leave, make sure you know what happens next. That might be nothing, or "come back if it changes", or a referral, in which case ask roughly how long it should take and what to do if you hear nothing.

If it helps, take someone with you. A second pair of ears is useful if there's anything to remember. For intimate examinations you can ask for a chaperone, and you can ask for a clinician of a particular sex. Surgeries are used to both requests.