Go to bed cross if you have to
Big things, repeat rows, the partner who won't stop, separate rooms, children who hear, and when it's more than rowing
The rule holds every night. Some things need their own paragraph.
Big things. Some rows are about money, or a move, or a child, or whether to stay together. The truce still holds, and matters more. A big thing decided at one in the morning is a big thing decided by the late brain, and the earlier book in this series on raising difficult things is about giving a big thing a proper time and a proper shape. The resume time for a big thing may be Saturday morning with two hours, not ten minutes at eight, and that's fine. What it isn't is midnight.
Repeat rows. If the same row comes back every fortnight, the ten minutes at eight isn't reaching it, and the note will show you that, because it'll say the same thing each time. That's a row that needs a longer conversation at a chosen hour, and possibly a third person, and Relate is the best-known UK provider of couples counselling. Going isn't an admission of anything except that the dishwasher row has been going on for a year.
The partner who won't stop. If one of you calls the truce and the other refuses it, repeatedly, and the Sunday agreement isn't honoured, the truce becomes a withdrawal by default, and chapter 16 says what that costs. The answer is the Sunday conversation again, on a good day, about the rule itself. If the rule can't be agreed, the pattern is bigger than this book, and a counsellor is the right third seat. And if the refusal comes with any of the things in the last paragraph of this chapter, it isn't a refusal. It's the thing the preface named.
Separate rooms. Some couples sleep apart for reasons that have nothing to do with rows, snoring, shifts, a baby, and for them the same bed isn't available. The truce and the resume time still work. What matters is that the separate rooms aren't the row's doing. If a row puts one of you on the sofa, that's a withdrawal and chapter 13 applies. If you always sleep apart, sleep apart, and keep the appointment.
Children who hear. They do, and chapter 18 is about what they learn. The truce teaches them something else, which is that adults can be cross and stop and sort it in the morning, and a child who hears "eight o'clock" and a door closing has heard a lesson about disagreement that most children never get. If a child asks, in the morning, "were you arguing?", the answer is yes, and we've sorted it, and that's the whole lesson in one sentence.
When it's more than rowing. If the late rows come with contempt, names, threats, things thrown, or one of you frightened of the other, or unable to leave the room or the house, that isn't a habit and this isn't the book. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247, free, at any hour. Please ring it rather than apply a method to something a method can't hold.
Low mood. If the rows are the surface of a low mood in one of you, most of the day for a fortnight, that's a GP conversation, and the rows will be easier once it's had. And if either of you is sleeping badly whether or not there's been a row, the NHS insomnia pages say when to see a GP.