The decision

Everything so far has been about seeing the habit clearly. This chapter is about what to do, and it starts with a rule.

I eat what I like, I stop at enough, and what's left is for later.

Each part does a job. "What I like" is the permission from chapter 8. No food is off the list, because forbidding things is what makes each meal feel like a last chance. "I stop at enough" is the change. "What's left is for later" is the answer to both waste and loss. Putting your fork down doesn't mean giving anything up. The food has only been postponed.

Notice what the rule doesn't say. It sets no amounts and names no foods. It has nothing to say about weight, and it doesn't ask you to be hungry, ever. If you stop and find yourself properly hungry an hour later, eat. That's the rule working, and you'll learn from it where your enough is.

Here's the method I'd suggest for keeping it. It has six parts. Each rests on an earlier chapter. The combination is mine and hasn't been tested as a package.

Serve a little less, and allow seconds. Put slightly less on the plate than you usually would, from a dish that stays on the counter. Seconds are always allowed, after a pause of a few minutes. This takes the decision away from the plate and gives it back to you. It comes from chapter 6.

Taste the first few mouthfuls. For the first minute of the meal, do nothing but eat. Look at the food, taste it, and let it register that a meal is happening. After that, talk or watch as you please.

Pause at halfway. When the plate is about half empty, put your cutlery down for a minute. Have a drink of water. Ask the question, "Am I still hungry, or is it just still here?" If you're still hungry, carry on, and ask again near the end.

Make a full stop. When you reach enough, do something that ends the meal. Put your knife and fork together and move the plate out of reach. Box up what's left straight away, before you sit back down, so there's no corner to pick at later. Then have something that marks the end. A cup of tea or coffee does it for many people. So does a piece of fruit, or clearing the table, or brushing your teeth if it's late. The meal needs an ending that isn't an empty dish.

Ban nothing and make up for nothing. Keep every food you like in your life. When you overeat, which you will, the next meal is an ordinary meal at the ordinary time. Don't skip breakfast to pay for dinner, and don't start a diet on Monday. Chapter 8 showed what the promise of a diet does to the meal before it.

Choose your feasts. Some meals are meant to be big. Christmas dinner, a birthday, or the restaurant you've been looking forward to for a month all count. Decide beforehand that it's a feast, eat as much as you enjoy, and afterwards don't hold a post-mortem. Feasts have been part of every culture that could afford them. What this book is against is the accidental feast on a Wednesday.

Habits respond well to plans made in advance in a "when, then" form, because the plan attaches a new action to the old cue. Three are worth writing out now, in your own words.

When I notice I've had enough, then I put my knife and fork together and move the plate.

When I think "it'd be a waste", then I get a box for it.

When I've eaten too much anyway, then my next meal is an ordinary one at the ordinary time.

Here's what to expect. Leaving food on a plate will feel wrong for weeks, if you were raised as most of us were. The pang from chapter 8 will turn up at most meals to begin with. You'll miss enough altogether at plenty of meals, especially fast or distracted ones, and find yourself overfull as before. None of that means it isn't working. Enough is a quiet signal, and I think it gets easier to hear with practice. I can't point to a study that proves so.

I can't promise anything about your weight. If you drop the extra, you'll be eating somewhat less, and what that does differs from person to person. If weight matters for your health, take that up with your GP. What I'd expect is smaller and sooner. Within a couple of weeks you should be able to say whether your evenings feel different. Look back at your notes from chapter 1 and compare the half hour after dinner. That's the measure to go by.