Ask the price of the eveningEveryday life

unbry

Ask the price of the evening

A short book about spending to keep up with friends, neighbours and colleagues

28 chapters11,645 wordsAbout 53 minFirst edition

What's inside

·Before you startThis is a short book and you can read it in two or three sittings. It's about one habit. Someone suggests a thing, a restaurant, a weekend, a kitchen, a…2 min
1The bill arrivesYou're at a restaurant with five friends. You had a main course and a glass of wine. Someone at the far end had a starter, two cocktails and the fish, and…2 min
2Why keeping up seems sensibleBefore I argue with keeping up, I want to be fair to it, because the needs under it are real and the alternative, as it's usually presented, is worse.…2 min
3"Everyone can afford it, so I must"Start with the belief that makes the table's pace feel like a fact about incomes. They can afford Lisbon. They can afford the second bottle. So it must be…2 min
4"It's what the evening costs"Here's a belief that arrives as arithmetic. An evening out costs sixty-eight pounds. Lisbon costs four hundred. That's the price, and the only question is…2 min
5"I'd rather have less than be behind"Now the belief that keeps the whole thing going, and I want to say at once that it isn't a flaw in you. It's how people are. Sara Solnick and David…2 min
6"It's for the friendship"The belief that feels most honourable is that the money is for the friendship. Sixty-eight pounds is what it costs to be at the table, and the table is…2 min
7"They'll think I'm tight"This is the fear at the bottom of the split, and it has a specific picture in it. You decline the second bottle, or ask to pay for what you had, and the…2 min
8"The nice things are worth it"Some of what you're keeping up with is things. The kitchen, the car, the coat, the bag. And here you'd say the case is different, because these are good…2 min
9"We can afford it"Here's the objection from your bank account. Sixty-eight pounds doesn't break you. Neither does Lisbon. You're not in debt, or not much. Each of these…2 min
10"It's only a few quid on the card"Most of the month's total goes on a card, and the card is part of why the total has never been seen. An earlier book in this series, about buying when…2 min
11"Saying no means missing out"Under the split there's a fear, and it's not about money. It's about absence. If you say no to Lisbon, they'll go without you and come back with stories…2 min
12"It's just how our friends are"Some readers will say the pace isn't theirs to change. It's the group's. Your friends go to those places, do those weekends, split those bills. It's how…2 min
13"The kids shouldn't go without"This is the belief that overrides all the others, because it's about the children and it feels like care. The ski trip, the party at the venue, the brand…2 min
14"I've earned it"Some keeping up wears the clothes of a reward. The hard year, the promotion, the bonus. The kitchen isn't matching. It's what you've earned. Rewards are…1 min
15"If I don't spend it, what's it for?"There's a belief that answers the whole book with a shrug. Money's for spending. You can't take it with you. A person who asks the price of every evening…2 min
16"It's rude to ask the price"The method in this book turns on one question, and there's a reason you don't ask it. Asking what something costs feels like bad manners. It suggests you…2 min
17"Money isn't the point of life"There's a belief that sits above all the others, and it sounds wise. Money isn't what matters. Friends matter, experiences matter, the children matter. A…2 min
18What keeping up costs youI've argued mechanism. This chapter is the bill, and the first line is the one you haven't seen. The month's total. Add up the list. That number, twelve…2 min
19What it does to the tableKeeping up feels like something you do alone, quietly, to stay at the table. It isn't. Every person at the table is doing it, and your part in it is…2 min
20Ask the priceThe next three chapters are the method, and this one is the question the book is named for. It takes ten seconds and it goes before the yes. Before the…2 min
21The quiet no and the counter-offerOnce you've got the price and decided you wouldn't have chosen it, there's the saying so, and the saying so is shorter than you fear. The quiet no. "I'll…2 min
22Your own listThe question and the no are the tools. This chapter is about what you're deciding with, which is your own list, and most people who keep up have never…2 min
23The decisionYou've got the argument and the method. What's left is to decide, and I'd like the decision to fit in one sentence. Before I say yes, I ask the price, and…2 min
24Weddings, hen dos, rounds, the school gate, work drinks and when it's more than a habitThe rule holds everywhere. A few tables need their own paragraph. Weddings. The wedding itself is once, and the price of being there is worth paying if…2 min
25When you kept up againIt'll happen. You'll be at a table, tired, and the split will come, and you'll pay it without a word, and only in the car will you remember there was a…2 min
26The bill arrives, againYou're at a restaurant with five friends, some months on. It's the corner place, because when the plan came round you said "can we do the corner place?…2 min
·NotesThis book gives general information about an everyday habit. It isn't financial advice, and it's no substitute for a debt adviser who knows your…3 min