Answering the feeling

Once the feeling has a name, it can be answered, and the answer depends on the name. That's the whole point of naming. Food is one answer to everything, which is why it fits nothing. What follows is my own list. Adjust it to your life.

Stressed. Two needs, as chapter 5 said. First a short break, then the thing. The break is four minutes away from the desk, and it's the kettle, the front step, the end of the road, or the window. Then you go back and do the smallest useful part of the thing that's stressing you. For the email, that's writing the first sentence of the reply. Stress usually eases faster once the thing is being dealt with than it ever does while it's being avoided.

Bored. Something has to happen, and it has to be more interesting than crisps. Keep a list on the fridge door, which is where you'll be standing when you need it. A phone call to someone you like. A game. The guitar. A crossword. A bath. A walk round the block in the dark. Bed with a book. Not the phone, for the reason chapter 6 gave.

Sad. Comfort, and comfort is mostly company. Ring someone and say what happened. If there's nobody to ring at that hour, warmth and rest. A blanket, a hot drink, a familiar film, an early night. The point is to be looked after. If you find you're sad most days, that's for a GP and not a list.

Angry. Movement. Anger is a physical state and it wants to be walked off. Twenty minutes outside, fast, and it will have changed shape. Don't write the email while angry and don't eat while angry. Both come out badly.

Tired. Rest, which food is a poor substitute for. If it's the afternoon, a break and some daylight. If it's the evening, the visit is often the body asking to go to bed, and the answer is to go to bed. A surprising share of evening visits stop when people simply go up an hour earlier.

Lonely. A person, in whatever form is available. A message, a call, a plan for the weekend, a walk to the shop where someone will say hello. Loneliness is a need for contact, and no cupboard has any.

Worried. Worry is a loop, and the answer is either a step or a decision to leave it until morning. Write down the worry and one thing you could do about it tomorrow. Then close the notebook.

Flat, or don't know. Sometimes there's no feeling to speak of, only a wish for something to change. The kettle answers this better than anything, because a hot drink is a small event, takes a few minutes to make, and gives the hands something to do. Have it with milk, or sugar if you take it. This isn't a diet.

Two things about the list. First, none of it is heroic. You're not being asked to meditate or run five miles. You're being asked to match a small need with a small answer, instead of matching every need with crackers. Second, the answer may not fully work. Ringing a friend may leave you still a bit sad. That's all right. The visit wouldn't have worked either, and it would have left you with the after. An answer that half works and leaves you clean is better than one that doesn't work and leaves you full.

And if, having named the feeling and tried the answer, you're now hungry, eat. Sit down and eat something you'll enjoy. The whole method exists to protect eating from being used for other things, not to stop it.