Notes
This book gives general information. It isn't medical or psychological advice, and it's no substitute for a doctor or therapist who knows your situation.
I've kept sources out of the chapters where I could so they read easily. Here they are by chapter, with the limits I'm aware of. Unless I say otherwise, I read the published summary of each paper and not the full text. I checked each paper for a retraction notice in September 2026 and found none. Where a chapter isn't listed, it rests on my own reasoning. That includes chapters 1, 9, 10 and 15, the list of costs in chapter 8, and the method in chapters 12 to 14. The NHS pages were read in September 2026. They're written for England or the UK, and services differ elsewhere. Much of the research on rumination was done with students in the United States, often with people who were in a low mood, and most of it concerns dwelling on mood and problems in general. Applying it to the replaying of one particular old mistake is my step throughout.
Before you start. The descriptions are from the NHS pages "Symptoms, depression in adults", "PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)" and "Symptoms, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)".
Chapter 2. Lyubomirsky and Nolen-Hoeksema, "Self-perpetuating properties of dysphoric rumination", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 65, 1993, pages 339 to 349. Two laboratory studies and two questionnaire studies. The sense of insight appeared in people who were already in a low mood and were asked to ruminate. Papageorgiou and Wells, "Positive beliefs about depressive rumination: development and preliminary validation of a self-report scale", Behavior Therapy 32, 2001, pages 13 to 26, and "A clinical metacognitive model of rumination and depression", Cognitive Therapy and Research 27, 2003, pages 261 to 273. I couldn't obtain the summaries of these two papers. My description of the model follows the account given in Petrošanec, Brekalo and Nakić Radoš, Psychology and Psychotherapy 95, 2022, pages 838 to 852. The list of five jobs is mine.
Chapter 3. Epstude and Roese, "The functional theory of counterfactual thinking", Personality and Social Psychology Review 12, 2008, pages 168 to 192. Watkins and Moulds, "Distinct modes of ruminative self-focus: impact of abstract versus concrete rumination on problem solving in depression", Emotion 5, 2005, pages 319 to 328. The benefit of concrete thinking was found in the depressed patients. Lyubomirsky and Nolen-Hoeksema, "Effects of self-focused rumination on negative thinking and interpersonal problem solving", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 69, 1995, pages 176 to 190. Three studies. The effects were found in participants who were already in a low mood.
Chapter 4. Roese and Vohs, "Hindsight bias", Perspectives on Psychological Science 7, 2012, pages 411 to 426. The example of the flat and the question "What did I know then?" are mine. The authors report that considering alternative explanations for an outcome reduces the bias, which is the nearest support for the question.
Chapter 5. Savitsky, Epley and Gilovich, "Do others judge us as harshly as we think? Overestimating the impact of our failures, shortcomings, and mishaps", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 81, 2001, pages 44 to 56. Flynn and Yoon, "Post-event processing in social anxiety: a scoping review", Journal of Anxiety Disorders 109, 2025, article 102947. That research concerns the hours and days after a social event in people with social anxiety. Extending it to an event eleven years old, and the suggestion that each replay darkens the memory, are my reading. What I say about the colleague's likely view is a guess.
Chapter 6. The research on guilt and repair is reviewed in Tangney, Stuewig and Mashek, "Moral emotions and moral behavior", Annual Review of Psychology 58, 2007, pages 345 to 372. Breines and Chen, "Self-compassion increases self-improvement motivation", Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 38, 2012, pages 1133 to 1143. Four experiments. Davis and eight colleagues, "Forgiving the self and physical and mental health correlates: a meta-analytic review", Journal of Counseling Psychology 62, 2015, pages 329 to 335. The figure is a correlation of .45 across 65 samples and 17,939 people.
Chapter 7. Masicampo and Baumeister, "Consider it done! Plan making can eliminate the cognitive effects of unfulfilled goals", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 101, 2011, pages 667 to 683. Their goals were tasks set in a laboratory. Treating an old mistake as an open item of the same kind is my interpretation and hasn't been tested.
Chapter 8. Nolen-Hoeksema, Wisco and Lyubomirsky, "Rethinking rumination", Perspectives on Psychological Science 3, 2008, pages 400 to 424. Nolen-Hoeksema, Morrow and Fredrickson, "Response styles and the duration of episodes of depressed mood", Journal of Abnormal Psychology 102, 1993, pages 20 to 28. The review also notes that in surveys, as opposed to experiments, a habit of distraction hasn't reliably gone with lower depression.
Chapter 11. Kross, Ayduk and Mischel, "When asking 'why' does not hurt: distinguishing rumination from reflective processing of negative emotions", Psychological Science 16, 2005, pages 709 to 715. Kross and eight colleagues, "Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: how you do it matters", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 106, 2014, pages 304 to 324.
Chapter 12. Frattaroli, "Experimental disclosure and its moderators: a meta-analysis", Psychological Bulletin 132, 2006, pages 823 to 865. The average effect across 146 randomised studies was r = .075, which is small. Those studies used free writing about feelings over several sessions. The five headings are my own structure and haven't been tested.
Chapter 13. Wegner, Schneider, Carter and White, "Paradoxical effects of thought suppression", Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 53, 1987, pages 5 to 13. Later reviews put the rebound effect at small to moderate. The three-part response is mine.
Chapter 14. Gollwitzer and Sheeran, "Implementation intentions and goal achievement: a meta-analysis of effects and processes", Advances in Experimental Social Psychology 38, 2006, pages 69 to 119. Watkins and seven colleagues, "Rumination-focused cognitive-behavioural therapy for residual depression: phase II randomised controlled trial", British Journal of Psychiatry 199, 2011, pages 317 to 322. What I say to expect is my expectation and not a finding. The advice on when to seek help draws on the NHS pages named above and on "Talking therapies".