"There's nothing I could do about it anyway"

Underneath a lot of not looking is a quiet fatalism. Suppose the letter does say you owe money you haven't got. What then? Opening it won't produce the money. You'd have the bad news and no way of acting on it, so you might as well not have the bad news.

This would be a fair argument if the only possible response to a bill were to pay it in full at once. It isn't. There are many responses short of that, and nearly all of them are available early and disappear later. I'll list the ones I've been able to confirm from official sources, and then some that are common practice.

On council tax, the government's guidance says to contact your council as soon as possible if you're struggling to pay or are behind. You can ask to spread payments over twelve months instead of the usual ten, which lowers each one. The council may give a one-off discount if you still can't pay. There are reductions for people on low incomes or benefits and for people who live alone. Even at the stage of enforcement, the guidance says that if you ask to make smaller payments the council doesn't have to agree but will usually try to make an arrangement with you.

On debts in general, there's a legal scheme in England and Wales called Breathing Space. You apply through a debt adviser. If you qualify, you get up to sixty days in which your creditors can't take enforcement action against you, can't contact you about the debts included, and can't add interest or charges to them. You're still expected to keep paying what you can. The point of the scheme is to give you time to get advice and make a plan without the pressure rising while you do it. For people receiving mental health crisis treatment, the protection lasts for the length of the treatment and thirty days beyond.

Debt advice itself is free from the organisations named at the front of this book, which are Citizens Advice, StepChange, National Debtline and MoneyHelper. An adviser can tell you which of your debts have the most serious consequences if they're left, and so which to deal with first. They can help you work out what you can afford and negotiate with creditors on your behalf. They can also explain the formal options if things are beyond that. You can use them without being in crisis. A person who's one missed payment behind is as welcome as a person with bailiffs at the door, and much easier to help.

Beyond those, here's what's common practice, as far as I know. I haven't checked each one, so treat them as things to ask about. Energy and water companies, lenders and phone providers generally have teams for customers who are struggling. They can often offer payment plans, a pause or a cheaper tariff. Many firms will waive a late fee for a customer who rings promptly and has a decent record. Insurers will often improve a renewal price if asked. Tax authorities have arrangements for paying in instalments.

What all of these have in common is timing. Almost every one of them requires that you get in touch, and works far better if you do it before things have escalated. A council that would cheerfully have spread your payments in May is in a different posture by October, once it has a liability order. A creditor who'd have agreed a payment plan with a customer one month behind is less flexible with one who has ignored six letters. The reason isn't spite. Organisations treat silence as refusal, because from the outside they can't tell the difference. A customer who makes contact is a customer who intends to pay, and they're handled accordingly.

So the fatalistic argument has it backwards. It assumes that opening the envelope adds bad news and no options. But the options come with the envelope, and each of them expires on a particular date. When the letter has just arrived there's a good deal you could do about it. A year later, if it's still unopened, there's much less.

If you open something and the sum is more than you can pay, the right first move is the same in nearly every case. Get in touch with whoever sent it, say so plainly, and ask what the options are. "I've had this bill and I can't pay it all at once. What can you do?" If you say that in the first fortnight, it solves more money problems than any budgeting method I know of.