The treat that became the habitHabits

unbry

The treat that became the habit

A short book about rewarding yourself daily for getting through the day

27 chapters13,032 wordsAbout 59 minFirst edition

What's inside

·Before you startThis is a short book and you can read it in two or three sittings. It's about one habit, which is giving yourself something at the end of every day and…3 min
1Six o'clock, and the same as yesterdayIt's ten to six. You're in, or nearly in, and there's a small pull towards a cupboard or a fridge or a drawer that has nothing to do with hunger. The day…2 min
2Why the daily makes senseNobody sets out to have a glass of wine every night of the year. It starts as an occasional thing on a hard day, and then hard days are most days, and…2 min
3"I've earned it"This is the sentence, and it's the one to start with because it's the most convincing. It's true, too, in its way. You did work. The day did take…2 min
4"It's a reward"A reward is a good thing to give yourself, and I'm not going to argue against rewards. I'm going to argue that the daily has stopped being one, and the…2 min
5"It's the best bit of my day"It may be. If the day was a long run of things done for other people, the treat at the end of it can be the only stretch that's yours, and I'm not going…2 min
6"It's only small"It is small. One glass. One bar. One order, which is a couple of taps. One episode. Small is why it's daily. Something large couldn't be daily, you'd…2 min
7"I'd be miserable without it"You'd be flat without it, for a while, and I'd rather say so than pretend. The first evening without the daily has a hole in it at six, and the hole is…2 min
8"It's how I cope"This one deserves more respect than the others, because it's often true. The day was stressful, the treat took the edge off, and you'd be worse company…2 min
9"A bad day needs one"It does. A day that went badly should end with something good in it, and I'd say that to anyone. The problem is what happens to the bad day when every day…2 min
10"Taking it away would be punishing myself"This is the belief that stops the blank day before it starts, and it's worth taking apart, because it has the logic backwards. Ran Kivetz and Itamar…2 min
11"It sets me up for tomorrow"The idea is that the treat is fuel. The day drained you, the treat refills you, and tomorrow you start with something in the tank you'd otherwise have…2 min
12The expectingChapter 5 said the best bit of the day is mostly the wanting, and this chapter is about the wanting, because it's where the daily really lives. From some…2 min
13What the guilt is doingMost people with a daily have a bit of guilt about it, and most of them think of the guilt as the price. The treat is the pleasure, the guilt is what it…2 min
14What the daily costs youIf you've read this far you're expecting a chapter about money or health, and there's a paragraph of each, but they're not the cost that matters. You've…2 min
15The day with nothing in itSomewhere in the beliefs there's one that's true and that nobody says out loud. It's that on many days the treat is the only thing in the day that was…2 min
16What it does to the treatEverything so far has been about what the daily does to you. This chapter is about what it does to the treat, because the treat is the thing you're trying…2 min
17Chosen or arrivedChapter 1 asked you to keep a record for a fortnight, writing a C or an A next to each treat. This chapter is about reading it. If you haven't kept it…2 min
18The two ways outThere are two, and both work, and which you take depends on what you found in the fortnight and what you want back. Neither is giving up the treat. Keep…2 min
19The blank dayWhichever way you take, you'll have days without the treat, and the first one is the one that decides whether the rest happen. So here's how to run it…2 min
20The proper treatThe book has spent a long time on what the daily isn't. This chapter is about what a treat is, when it's working, because you're going to have them and…2 min
21The decisionHere's the rule. Nothing daily gets called a treat. That's it. It isn't a rule about wine, or chocolate, or television, all of which you can still have.…2 min
22Wine, the vape, the order, the bar and the phoneEvery treat has its own book in this series, and this one has stayed on the logic that runs across them. But the logic lands differently depending on what…2 min
23The only hour alone, shift work, the bag from the shop, the children, and the treat that's harmlessThe method assumes an ordinary day with an evening in it and a reader who can decide what happens at six. Not everyone has that. Each of these changes…3 min
24When the glass was in your hand at sixIt'll happen. A Tuesday, an ordinary one, and six o'clock came and the glass was in your hand before the question got asked, and you had it, and you had…2 min
25Six o'clock, ThursdayIt's ten to six on a Tuesday, a few weeks on. You're in. There's a moment, a small one, when your hand knows where the cupboard is, and then the moment…1 min
·NotesThese notes give the sources behind the claims in each chapter, and say where I'm giving my own interpretation. The book isn't medical advice. If your…6 min