Help in
The leaflet, rung. Here is what exists in England as of this writing, and what it's for.
A carer's assessment. Anyone over eighteen who looks after someone regularly because they're ill, older or disabled can ask for one, and it's free. You contact adult social services at your local council. Someone asks how you're coping, how the caring affects your health, your work, your free time and your relationships, and the assessment can lead to things like someone taking over so you can have a break, help with housework, training in lifting safely, a local support group, and advice about benefits. Ask for it alongside a needs assessment for your parent, which the council also does, and which is the gate to funded respite. Age UK's advice line is on 0800 678 1602, and Carers UK's helpline is on 0808 808 7777, weekdays, and both will walk you through it.
Respite. The NHS lists day centres, paid carers visiting at home, short stays in a care home, sitting services and respite holidays. The council funds it after assessment. A day centre one day a week gives your parent company and activities and gives you a day. A sitting service gives you an afternoon. A short stay gives you a holiday you haven't had. I said in chapter 10 that the trial evidence on respite is weak, and it is, and I'm not selling it as a cure. It's a day. Take the day.
Money. Carer's Allowance, at the time of writing, is 86 pounds 45 a week if you care for someone at least 35 hours a week and they receive certain benefits, and it comes with National Insurance credits and may unlock other support. Not everyone reading this will qualify, and it interacts with other benefits, so check on GOV.UK. I mention it because penance won't claim it. Claiming money for caring feels like admitting the care is work, and it is work, and the guilt would rather you did it unpaid so it stays a debt.
None of these is the road to the home, chapter 10. All of them are the road away from the carer breaking, which is the thing that puts people in homes. If ringing feels like a betrayal, ring anyway, and notice in a month whether she's been betrayed or whether she has a Tuesday she looks forward to and a daughter who's still standing.