It hasn't happened yetCalm

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It hasn't happened yet

A short book about worry, and why it isn't the same as getting ready

16 chapters12,166 wordsAbout 55 minFirst edition

What's inside

·Before you startThis is a short book. You can read it in two or three evenings. It's about one habit. Something might go wrong next week or next year, and you go over it…2 min
1The chat on ThursdayHere's an example. On Friday afternoon your manager stops at your desk and says, "Can we have a quick chat on Thursday? Nothing urgent." Then she goes to…3 min
2What worrying buys youPeople don't keep up a habit for years unless it pays them something. So before I count what worrying costs, I'll set out what I think it gives you. The…4 min
3"I'm just being prepared"This is the belief that holds the whole habit up, so it deserves a careful answer. It goes something like this. "The world is uncertain. Sensible people…4 min
4"But it might happen"Every worry carries a small, fair point inside it. It might happen. Managers do deliver bad news, and so do boilers and scans. Nobody can promise you…4 min
5"It didn't happen because I worried"Hardly anyone says this one out loud, because said out loud it sounds like magic. But a lot of people hold it somewhere below the level of speech. You can…3 min
6"At least I won't be caught off guard"Some people worry mainly as a guard against shock. They reason that if they expect the worst all the time, the worst can't ambush them. They've seen what…3 min
7"I couldn't cope if it did"If you look inside almost any worry, you'll find two predictions and not one. The first is that the bad thing will happen. The second is that when it…3 min
8"I just need to know"It's ten at night and your daughter said she'd text when she got in. She hasn't. You check the phone. You check the traffic news for the M6. You check the…4 min
9"It shows I care"In a good many families, worry is how love gets said. "Text me when you get there." "I couldn't sleep until I heard the door." "I've been worried sick…3 min
10"I've always been a worrier""I'm a born worrier. My mum was the same, and her mum. It's just how I'm made." Part of this is true and I'll say so plainly. People differ in temperament…3 min
11The decisionEverything so far has been argument. This chapter is the practical part. I'll put the decision in one sentence and then explain how it works. When a…6 min
12When it does comeSooner or later one of the ticks in your log will be a big one. The scan isn't clear, or the redundancy is real, or the phone call does come. About one…3 min
13When the worrying comes backIt will. At some point you'll have a week when the slot gets skipped and the log lies unopened. There you are at two in the morning on the fifteenth lap…3 min
14The next what-ifFind the piece of paper from chapter 1, with the three predictions on it. If any of them has come due, mark it with a tick or a cross. If one of them…1 min
·NotesThis book gives general information. It isn't medical or psychological advice, and it's no substitute for a doctor or therapist who knows your situation.…6 min

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