The hand-back

You'll catch yourself mid-jump. Your voice has started, theirs has stopped, and you realise. This chapter is about the next two seconds, and it's the most useful thing in the book, because it's the part you'll use most.

Stop mid-sentence. Not at the end of your point. Now, where you are, even if it's mid-word. "Was it that woman from number tw," and stop. The stopping is the message. It says that you've noticed and that their turn matters more than your sentence.

Say "sorry, go on". Three words. Not "sorry, I interrupted, I do this, I'm trying to stop". A speech about your interrupting is another interruption. "Sorry, go on," and then be quiet.

Don't re-take. The temptation, once they've finished, is to say what you were going to say, now that it's your turn. Sometimes that's right. Often, if you wait, you'll find it's answered by the tail, or no longer worth it. Let their finish land before you decide.

Don't finish their sentence for them. Even as a way of handing back. "You were going to say it was number twelve?" isn't a hand-back. It's the jump in a question mark. Hand back the turn, not your guess about it.

If they've lost it, ask. People who've been cut off sometimes can't find the thread. "What were you going to say?" gets it back. "Sorry, you were saying about the note." Give them the place, not the content, and let them find the tail themselves.

Mean it. The hand-back only works if you then listen. A hand-back followed by the held thought at the first opportunity teaches the other person that "sorry, go on" means "hurry up". Hand it back and stay with them to the finish, and then the half-second, and then speak.

Expect it to feel odd. Stopping mid-word feels like a stumble. It isn't, to the other person. To them it's the first time in a while they've been given a sentence back, and most people are visibly pleased and then a little wary, waiting to see if it's real. Do it for a fortnight and the wariness goes.