Before you start

This is a short book and you can read it in two or three sittings. It's about one habit. Someone is talking, and before they've finished, you're talking too. You finish their sentence for them, or you answer the question they were about to ask, or you say the thing their story reminded you of while the story is still going. It feels like being quick and engaged. It feels like keenness. And somebody has said to you, more than once, "let me finish".

I'm going to argue three things. The first is that the habit makes sense from the inside. You are keen, you usually have guessed right about where they were going, and conversation is built to be fast. The second is that a jump isn't a fast reply. It's an early one, and everyone who hears it can tell the difference. The part of a sentence that you cut off is usually the part that carried the point, and the person who was cut off rarely goes back for it. What feels like enthusiasm from where you're standing reads as being overrun from where they are. The third is practical. You let them finish, and when you've jumped in, you stop mid-sentence and hand it back. Chapters 19 to 22 cover how.

This book doesn't ask you to talk less, be quieter, or stop being enthusiastic. It asks you to move the start of your reply by about a second, to the point where their sentence ends.

One caution. If jumping in is one part of a wider pattern, if you've always been very talkative and restless and easily distracted, since childhood and across every part of life, the NHS lists "being very talkative or interrupting conversations" among the signs of ADHD in adults, and says to see a GP if the symptoms are affecting your work or relationships. This book may still help, but a habit that's part of something larger deserves a proper look.

The notes at the back give my sources and their limits. Where I'm giving my own reasoning and not a finding, I'll say so.