Notes
This book gives general information about an everyday habit. It isn't medical or psychological advice, and it's no substitute for a GP or a specialist who knows you. The NHS guidance I mention is for England as I found it in September 2026.
I've kept sources out of the chapters where I could so they read easily. Here they are by chapter, with the limits I'm aware of. Unless I say otherwise, I read the published summary of each paper and not the full text. I checked each paper for a retraction or correction notice in September 2026 and found none. Where a chapter isn't listed, it rests on my own reasoning. That includes chapters 1, 2, 6, 9, 12, 13, 17, 19, 20, 21, 24 and 25. The dinner, the note on the windscreen, the Tuesday meeting, Priya and the friend on the phone are invented.
Before you start. The NHS page "ADHD in adults", for the list of symptoms and the advice to see a GP.
Chapter 3. Templeton, Chang, Reynolds, Cone LeBeaumont and Wheatley, "Fast response times signal social connection in conversation", Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 119, 2022. Pairs of friends and strangers, with a round-robin design in six groups. The summary describes response times and doesn't say how overlapping responses were scored, so the distinction between a fast reply and an early one is my reading. Stivers and colleagues, "Universals and cultural variation in turn-taking in conversation", Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 106, 2009, pages 10587 to 10592. Ten languages, eleven authors.
Chapter 4. Levinson and Torreira, "Timing in turn-taking and its implications for processing models of language", Frontiers in Psychology 6, 2015, article 731. A review with new analyses. Marvel, Epstein, Flowers and Beckman, "Soliciting the patient's agenda: have we improved?", Journal of the American Medical Association 281, 1999, pages 283 to 287. Two hundred and sixty-four consultations with twenty-nine family doctors in the United States and Canada. The extension from consultations to conversation is mine.
Chapter 5. Marvel and colleagues as above. Singh Ospina, Phillips, Rodriguez-Gutierrez, Castaneda-Guarderas, Gionfriddo, Branda and Montori, "Eliciting the patient's agenda: secondary analysis of recorded clinical encounters", Journal of General Internal Medicine 34, 2019, pages 36 to 40. One hundred and twelve recorded consultations. The reading of late-arising concerns as the point coming back at the door, and the account of what that costs at dinner or in a meeting, are mine.
Chapter 7. Stivers and colleagues as above, for the tempo differences between languages. The distinction between accompanying overlap and turn-taking overlap, and the who's-talking-after test, are mine.
Chapter 8. Youngquist, "The effect of interruptions and dyad gender combination on perceptions of interpersonal dominance", Communication Studies 60, 2009, pages 147 to 163. Listeners rated recorded dialogues with six embedded intrusive interruptions. The study also reported differences by the gender pairing of the speakers, which I've left out, and I read only its summary. The account of the mismatch between inside and outside is mine.
Chapter 10. Singh Ospina and colleagues, and Marvel and colleagues, as above. The claim that jumping trains padding and speed is my reasoning and I know of no study of it.
Chapter 11. Stivers and colleagues as above. Itzchakov, DeMarree, Kluger and Turjeman-Levi, "The listener sets the tone: high-quality listening increases attitude clarity and behavior-intention consequences", Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 44, 2018, pages 762 to 778. Five experiments. The reverse, that being cut off takes clarity away, is my inference and wasn't tested.
Chapter 14. Templeton and colleagues as above, for the timescale of the signal. The reading of "anyway" as the complaint is mine.
Chapter 15. Youngquist as above. Marvel and colleagues as above, for late-arising concerns. The rest is mine.
Chapter 16. Levinson and Torreira, Stivers and colleagues, and Templeton and colleagues as above.
Chapter 18. Marvel and colleagues as above, for the unfinished statement. Itzchakov and colleagues as above. Youngquist as above. The rest is mine.
Chapter 22. Gollwitzer and Sheeran, "Implementation intentions and goal achievement: a meta-analysis of effects and processes", Advances in Experimental Social Psychology 38, 2006, pages 69 to 119. The rule hasn't been tested as a package, and what I say to expect is my expectation and not a finding.
Chapter 23. The NHS page "ADHD in adults" as above. The advice on hearing is general and a GP is the route.