What the phone adds

All of this is older than the phone. Festinger published in 1954, and people were driving home quiet from housewarmings long before anyone could photograph the lamb. It matters to say so, because if you blame the apps for the whole habit you'll expect deleting them to cure it, and it won't.

The phone does change the conditions, though, in four ways I can see.

It raises the volume. You used to get a housewarming a few times a year, and now you can get thirty good bits before breakfast. It extends the reach, from people you know to people you've never met, some of whom look effortless for a living. It improves the editing, since a photograph can be chosen from forty and adjusted, which nobody could do with a Saturday. And it puts numbers on things, so that even a holiday arrives with a count of how many people admired it.

The research on this is large and less settled than the headlines suggest. Here's what I think it supports.

In 2012 Hui-Tzu Grace Chou and Nicholas Edge surveyed 425 students in Utah. Those who'd used Facebook for longer agreed more that other people were happier, and agreed less that life is fair. Those who spent more time on it each week agreed more that others had better lives. So did those whose "friends" included more people they'd never met. It's a single survey and it can't show cause. The detail about strangers is worth keeping, though. The less you know about someone's full version, the more weight their good bits carry.

Ethan Kross and colleagues texted 82 young adults five times a day for two weeks in 2013. The more someone had used Facebook since the last text, the worse they felt at the next one, and heavier use over the fortnight went with a decline in life satisfaction. Talking with people directly showed no such pattern. A follow-up led by Philippe Verduyn found that the damage came from passive use, meaning scrolling without posting or messaging, and that it worked through envy.

One finding surprised me. In 2014 Mai-Ly Steers and colleagues ran a fourteen-day diary study with 152 people and found that comparing went some way to explaining the link between time on Facebook and depressive symptoms. That held for comparing upwards, and it also held for comparing downwards and for comparisons in no particular direction. It's one study. But it suggests that scoring your life against other people's all evening goes with feeling worse, whether or not you win.

There's one proper experiment I'd mention. In 2018 Melissa Hunt and colleagues randomly assigned 143 students at the University of Pennsylvania either to carry on as usual or to limit Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat to ten minutes each a day. After three weeks the limited group showed larger falls in loneliness and depression. Both groups became less anxious, which the authors put down to everyone keeping an eye on their own use.

Now the other side of the ledger. In 2022 Adrian Meier and Benjamin Johnson reviewed this whole field. They found that the earlier studies linked comparison and envy on social media with lower well-being. Newer ones increasingly contradict that. Some find positive links, and many find effects that differ from person to person or run in both directions. The honest summary is that feeds are bad for some people some of the time, and that you'll have to find out for yourself whether you're one of them.

You can find out cheaply. For a week, notice how you feel in the minute after you close each app. Don't go by how you feel during, since a feed is built to be pleasant during. You already have your list of dips, and it will show how many of them came from a screen.

If the answer is "a lot", there are three adjustments worth making, and none of them involves giving anything up for good.

Mute generously. Muting an account doesn't mean you think badly of the person. It means you've noticed that you leave their posts feeling worse. They won't know, and you can still ring them.

Be careful with strangers. Chou and Edge's detail points here, and so does common sense. With a friend you at least know some of the full version. With a stranger whose job is to look good, the good bits are all you'll ever get.

And watch your timing. Wheeler and Miyake found that a low mood steers people towards upward comparisons. When you're tired and flat at eleven at night you'll find the most enviable post in the feed, and you'll have the least energy for arguing with it. If you're going to look, do it when you're all right.