Pick oneCalm

unbry

Pick one

A short book about going round and round a decision because choosing feels riskier than waiting

21 chapters11,802 wordsAbout 54 minFirst edition

What's inside

·Before you startThis is a short book and you can read it in two or three sittings. It's about one habit. You have a decision to make, and you've been making it for a long…2 min
1The spreadsheet called OptionsIt's a Sunday evening in late February. The laptop is open on the kitchen table, and on it is a spreadsheet called Options. You made it fourteen months…3 min
2Why waiting seems sensibleI don't want to start by telling you the loop is foolish. It isn't, and if I said so you'd rightly stop listening. Most of the instincts behind it are…2 min
3"I haven't decided anything yet"When someone asks about the course, you say you haven't decided yet. It's an honest answer. It also contains a quiet mistake, which is the idea that while…2 min
4"I just need a bit more information"This is the most respectable reason for another lap, and sometimes it's true. So it's worth having a way to tell when it is. Anthony Bastardi and Eldar…2 min
5"I should look at all the options"You had the sofa down to two. Then a colleague mentioned a shop you hadn't tried, and for a week there were four. The college across town led you to a…2 min
6"There's a right answer and I have to find it"Under the loop sits an assumption you may never have put into words. One of these options is the correct one, the others are mistakes, and enough analysis…2 min
7"I couldn't bear to get it wrong"Imagine it's the second year of the course. You're tired, the fees have gone up, and you've just understood that you don't much like designing other…2 min
8"I'll keep my options open"Part of the appeal of not choosing is that nothing has been given up. While the question is open, you could still be a garden designer, and you could…2 min
9"I'll know when it feels right"Several times in the last fourteen months you've nearly been there. Around eleven at night the course has seemed obviously right, and you've gone to bed…2 min
10"I'll see what a few more people think"You've talked the course over with your partner, your sister, two friends, a colleague you trust, and a man at a wedding who turned out to be a landscape…2 min
11"I'm just an indecisive person"After enough laps it's natural to conclude that the problem is you. You say you're hopeless at decisions, as though it were a fixed fact about you like…2 min
12"It'll sort itself out"You may have noticed that you've made plenty of large decisions in your life, and that nearly all of them had a deadline attached. The landlord wanted an…2 min
13What the loop costsYou may think of the loop as free, or at most as a few wasted evenings. I think it costs more than that. Most of this chapter is my own reckoning, and…2 min
14How big is this decision?One reason the loop catches so many decisions is that it treats them all alike. The sofa gets the same procedure as the career, with research, comparison…3 min
15Making the choiceThis chapter is a method. It's deliberately plain. I've put it together from the research in the earlier chapters and from common sense, and nobody has…3 min
16After you've chosenMost advice about decisions stops at the choice. For someone with this habit, the choice is only half of it. The day after you choose is when the loop…2 min
17The decisionThis chapter asks you to decide something, and I know who I'm asking. It comes late because at the start it would have sounded like being told to hurry…3 min
18Partners, bad options and choices that went wrongWhen the decision is shared. If a choice changes your partner's life too, you can't settle it alone with a date and a coin. The method still works, used…3 min
19The spreadsheet againIt's a Sunday evening in late February, a year on. The laptop is open on the kitchen table, and on it is a planting plan for a north-facing border. It's…2 min
·NotesThis book gives general information. It isn't medical, legal or financial advice, and it can't weigh your particular decision. Where a choice needs a…5 min