The next wrong

Some time in the next few weeks, somebody will treat you unfairly. It may be a small thing, such as a queue jumped or a favour forgotten. It may be a serious one. You can't prevent it, and neither can I.

The first day after it will matter most, and I'd plan that day now. Feel what you feel, since you've no choice about that. Tell one person who listens well, and let them be kind to you. Write down what happened, with the date. Ask the two questions on separate lines. Then find the smallest move and make it before you go to bed.

On most days that will be enough. A day-old wrong that you've dealt with like this is much less likely to turn into an eight-year-old one.

For today, go back to the grievance you wrote down in chapter 1. You've added the two questions to it, and perhaps the three piles. Find the smallest move on the page. Open the envelope, send the two-line email asking for a meeting, or ring her. Do it before you read anything else, this evening if you can. It will probably feel unfair while you're doing it. It is unfair, and I'd do it anyway.

I can't tell you that you'll stop feeling wronged. You have been wronged, and you may be again, so the feeling is often just an accurate reading of events. What I think will change is how long each wrong holds you. A year from now I'd expect you to have about the same number of complaints against the world as anyone else, and to be waiting on far fewer people.

What they did is theirs to answer for, and I hope they do. You still have a next move of your own, and you don't need them for it.