At work

Work has its own version of every belief in this book, and a couple of its own. It's not your job to comment on people's work unless you manage them. It would be political. It would be read as an angle. And there's a whole machinery for feedback already, reviews and one-to-ones and forms, so anything said outside it is either redundant or improper. Some notes, and these are mine except for Bradler.

The colleague. The person with the slides doesn't report to you and you don't report to them, which is exactly why it's easy. There's no machinery. Nobody's grading anyone. You're one person telling another that their work made your morning easier, and that is not political. Detail and effect line, on the way out of the room. "One idea a slide. First time I've followed one of these." Then go. If you'd rather message, message, the same day.

The person under you. This is where "it'll go to their head" lives, and chapter 9 gave you the evidence against it. Positive feedback raised interest and free effort across 128 experiments. In Bradler and colleagues' field experiment, unannounced recognition raised performance, and most of the rise came from the people who weren't recognised, which I read as the room learning that good work gets noticed here. I'd draw two things from that. First, say it in the moment, not in the review. The review is where compliments become grades, with everything a grade brings. Second, don't wrap it. There's a habit of putting the good thing before the bad thing to soften it, and everyone who's been on the receiving end of that has learned to brace when the good thing starts. Keep the good thought separate from any correction, by a day if you can. Let it be its own sentence.

The boss. This is where "they'll think I want something" lives. Chapter 8's answer holds. If there's nothing after it, it's a report. "The way you handled the restructuring was fair, and people noticed." Full stop. No hours, no request, not that week. If it still feels too exposed, pick the version with the least of you in it. Say what the team noticed rather than what you did.

What not to do. Don't say it in the team channel where it becomes a performance. Don't say it about someone to a third person and assume it'll get back. Chapter 3 applies at work more than anywhere. People know what's been said to them, and the good opinion of their work that you expressed to someone else in the kitchen is, as far as they're concerned, not there.